Pay Attention

When you’ve been married as long as Diane and I have (47 years and counting) you get to know each other pretty well.  And, when you get as old as we are…excuse me…as I am, you probably spend a lot more time together than ever before.  The things we communicate to each other are unique, and many are things we only share with each other.

It’s really not surprising that when I come into the kitchen each morning, where Diane is usually already eating breakfast, a certain look is all that is needed to tell me I have not dressed properly. (This happens often.)  Or that it only takes a light tap on my knee under the table to tell me that I must hold my tongue…keep quiet… instead of responding to some ridiculous comment made by someone else at the dinner table.  Or, that just one raised eyebrow can say “No!” when she reads the draft of a comment I show her before I post it on Facebook.

But then there are the times when I ask her about something and she very curtly informs me: ” Last night I told you about that in detail. Once again, you were not listening.”  In fact, just last night, before lights out, I asked what she would be doing today. Bad Question! “I told you exactly what my schedule was just a few minutes ago; obviously you didn’t listen again…and I will not repeat it!” Diane said emphatically. Can’t really blame her. At least we laughed about it before we went to sleep…with me still wondering.

I reluctantly plead guilty to this slight, but in reality, I could easily point to some recent time when she did the same to me!

How can our communication be so finely attuned at times, but totally lacking other times? How can she tell me so much by saying or doing so little most of the time; but at other times I can totally miss what she said.

Attention.

Diane and I have committed to always be with each other, till death separates us. And when we are together, I am almost always aware of her presence. But, that’s not enough. I can’t just be aware of Diane’s presence when she is with me, I must be attentive to her. But, I can’t really be attentive to her if I am intently watching a football game or checking my emails.

I’ve been repeatedly reading the instructions from 1 Thessalonians 5 as I have tried to incorporate them into my consciousness this past year. I at least understand something about how to “comfort the discouraged”, “help the weak”, and “be patient with everyone” (although I have problems actually doing it). But I have had real difficulty even understanding how one can possibly “pray continually”.  I understand “pray every day”. Even “Pray every hour”.  But “pray continually”?  I, quite frankly, have struggled with even knowing how that is possible.

I do know and believe that God is always with me.  And I am trying to be aware of His presence more and more of the time. I pray for increased awareness because this, in itself, is often hard for me, especially when my focus is constantly being pulled toward all the many things going on around me. But, pray continually?

I recently read an explanation that gave some perspective on how I might at least understand “pray continually.” It might be worth sharing.

It came from a book by George Maloney, IN JESUS WE TRUST. “Jesus teaches us that prayer is a loving listening to God as He continually communicates His love to us. We ARE praying when we are attentive to the presence of God.”

I know that I must be attentive to Diane if I want to get full measure of our relationship…if I want to hear and know the things that she feels are important for me to know.  Is it reasonable that I must also be attentive to the presence of God with me if I am to know what He is trying to communicate to me? Maybe it’s not enough to just believe that He is with me. Maybe it’s not even enough to be aware that He is with me. Can I get to the point that I spend more of my waking hours attentive to His presence? Is that how I can pray continually?

I think there is a reason we tell people to “pay attention.” Our attention is currency. It has value. We can exchange it for important things, or we can waste it. We can invest it to enhance relationships, or squander it on things that have no real lasting value. Are we really engrossed in silly dog videos and vitriol political discussions?

I think that I must live more of my life attentive to God’s presence if I am to experience the changes He wants for my life…if I am to know the opportunities He puts in my path…if I am to hear the directions He wants to give for my journey.

In 2020, I want to spend the valuable currency that is my “attention” on things that matter. I want to be more attentive to Diane. And, I want to live more continually in prayer…by being more attentive to God’s presence in my life…“prayer is a loving listening to God as He continually communicates His love to us. We are praying when we are attentive to the presence of God.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray continually.” CEB

On what will you spend your valuable attention in 2020?

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