Letting Go

There are a lot of things that we have…things that are entrusted to us and our care, that we cannot keep forever.  Things that are difficult to give up when the time comes. Sometimes the giving up is all at once; sometimes it comes in stages. No giving up is more difficult than letting go of relationships; and no relationship more agonizing to let ease from our grasp than a child.

I guess it starts with their first unaided step; then the first day at school, the first sleepover… then come first dates, the times they first drive off in cars by themselves, when they go away to college, and then when they marry and leave home for good. Tough times. They all were tough for me with both of our girls.  But the leaving for college and the getting marrieds were the hardest for me. I guess that is because one finally must face that your influence on them is largely over…even though it probably was actually over long before that time.

When our girls were going away, I struggled with what I had and had not done for them just as much as I struggled with them actually leaving. I struggled in my prayer times asking for assurances to help me deal with this letting go. When Cayce was preparing to go away to college, I wrote what I perceived to be my communication with my heavenly father as I dealt with the coming separation.

This was not a one time back and forth exchange, but an accumulation of my expressed fears and what I feel was God’s impressions back to me as He gave me peace through His assurances and through His rebukes.

Out Our Front Door

Me to The Lord: For years I’ve locked the doors at night
Keeping her in; away the fear.
Now time has come for her to go,
I find the fright’s in here.

     My Lord’s Reply: It’s time she finds what life’s about,
To exercise the shape she’s in,
To chase her dreams and test her doubt,
You must unlock those doors to win.

Me: A new town’s out our front door
With roads she does not know,
With hills and valleys we’ve not climbed
Nor shown her where to go.

     Him: You’ve pointed to the roadmap
For all her eighteen years
Her lamp I’ll be to light the way
Through sunshine, darkness, tears.

Me: There’s a new school out our front door
Where folks don’t know her name.
With teachers that we never met,
Philosophies that aren’t the same.

     Him: Where she will study, laugh and play,
And live the first time on her own.
She’ll let Me mold her mind, her heart;
Reveal the plans I’ve known.

Me: Full freedom waits out our front door,
Few rules to show the way.
No curfew tells her when she’s late,
Lord, help her not to stray.

     Him: My laws are written on her heart.
My promptings she obeys.
I wish that I could say the same
Of your untrusting ways.

Me: But, there’s a man out our front door,
I don’t know who he’ll be,
Or if he’ll love and care for her;
Respect and give her dignity.

     Him: He’ll be the one I’ve picked for her,
If follow me she will.
I’ll tell her when the right one’s there,
She’ll guard herself, her heart until.

Me: I guess her life’s out our front door,
Lord help us let her go.
Protect us from the fears we feel
Because we love her so.

     Him: So there! The fear is for yourself,
That what you’ve done won’t stand.
Remember!  I gave her to you.
Her future’s in My hand.

When it’s time to let someone go, it is important to trust that the One who put that person in my life … He will continue His work.  And to trust that He will honor the investment I have made…though I certainly cannot find comfort in anything I have done; quite the contrary. The agony of letting go must give way to peace that comes from knowing that God is in control.

I don’t know how recently you might have experienced the joy and pain of Letting Go.  For me: Today I drove my Granddaughter Emma to school for the last of our regularly scheduled “school bus” rides. I have been taking her to school on Wednesday’s since she was in the third grade. We’ve shared so many conversations, laughs, and sung so many 60’s songs over the years.  Later this week Emma will become a licensed driver and will be driving herself to school.

It was sad for me today to Let That Go. But, I promised her that, as I have done every Wednesday all these years, I will still be praying for her every Wednesday morning…that she will have a great day and that the day will go toward helping her learn, accept and live out God’s great plans for her life. Still…I am a bit sad.

I find this song by Suzy Bogguss somewhat soothing in these times.

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